New perspective

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Hey everyone,I have been feeling much better lately.I am still a little concerned about my future but I am not worrying too much about it for now.This seems strange for me to say because I was always concerned about my future but something changed my mind recently to open my eyes and mind to a new perspective.I did not mention this in my last post,on Christmas I spent time with my family as usual, Jill was there as well seening has how no matter what happens she is still family. Hey Julie thanks for the email it really helped me.

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Big Secret...

Sorry everyone, if there are others out there...I have a big secret that I will not revel until Sarah can read about it.I feel bad as it is, I have been posting and will continue to, she is going to have to catch up on everything when she returns.Everything seems to be alright for now.

I'm ok, I guess, better now.

Hey Julie, everyone(just in case there are other readers-I dout) I was feeling a little depressed the pass few days, I felt alone and did not know what to do.I know I may seem to be a loser without friends,maybe I am a loser but I do have friends.I do not know what my problem is but even when I am with my friends I feel alone. What is wrong with me?!Julie I am sorry that I have not posted, I will try to, everyday for now on.Thank you for being there for me Julie it really means a lot to knowing there is someone out there.I guess I really am not alone.

Alone Again...

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Here I am, alone again...I am not sure what to do.Julie if you are out there and you read this I am now allowing anonymous comments, please post a comment I need to know that someone is out there.I do not know what to say.I realize that the entire Internet community could be reading my blog but I feel strange posting how I truly feel right now because Sarah is reading.What is wrong with me?Can someone tell me exactly what is wrong with me?!?

In case anyone noticed I have not mentioned Jill, it is because I have ceased all contact with her for now.I feel guilty and free at the same time and I just do not understand it.These feelings do not happen too often with me, I guess this time I am just tired of falling victim to Jill one too many times, no more.Until I straighten things out and she does aswell, that is just the way it is going to be,a life without Jill around.
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Alone

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Hello to all (if any) my readers.Sarah is off of the Internet for now, she said until January so I am not sure who is reading this,maybe Julie.She said she reads my blog but she just does not post.Perhaps I should allow anonymous comments so I could have at least Julie...Well hello Julie-if you are there, somewhere, reading this if not I guess I will just have to see if there is anyone still out even the least bit interested in my blog and what I have to say.

I feel strangely, alone.Why is this?I have friends and family, why does one person I never really met, matter so much?
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Things are looking up

I can't believe it! I have great news! As I said before, I had no choice but to tell my parents about what happened. They hired a lawyer for me (not theirs') he seems like a good guy, he said that I should stop trying to protect Jill. He said that I should tell my side as it is, not protecting Jill, he said if I tell on Jill then she could face some charges but since I was the victim I could get all the charges dropped. If this is true, than Jill is going to have to face what she did to me. I did nothing to her and she practically ruined my life in one day. For once I am not going to let her get away with this, I tried so hard to get to where I am right now and I do not want anything to jeopardise my future- not even my own sister.

Finals are over! I had my final final today, yes! FREEDOM!

HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!!

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Sarah and Jose, thanks for being there for me at my time of need. I do not know what I am going to do about this whole situation. I have no one to turn to, I am so alone, I have friends but I do not want to bother or get them involved with this particular part of my life. Alone and without anyone I truly trust for advice I had no choice but to turn to my parents for help. As much as I did not want to, I was forced to tell them what had happened. The odd part for me was that I still wanted to protect Jill, so after telling I felt terrible. Sarah..! Jose..! HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!

I still have to find a lawyer for myself, my parents want me to use theirs but I do not think I would be comfortable with him since he knows me and Jill personally, since I was about 5 or 6. I do not want to influence any more negativity towards Jill.

I just still can not understand how could Jill do this to me after all that I have done for her. By the way, remember how her car is not drivable so I thought that I would have to drive her around? Not going to happen after all, as part of the terms of my bail, I am not allowed to drive, my licence was suspended at least until my court date. Get this crazy shit, Jill actually had the audacity to ask if I wanted her to drive me around in my car until I straightened everything out! She is seriously disturbed, not only did I reject her offer, I told she had to find her own around, I would rather take the bus right now than have her around me and as I said previously, I do not want to explain anything to my friends so asking them is out of the question.

What should I do? My life was going great up until now, at least decent. I am worried that this could effect me for the rest of my life, what if everything does not turn out to be as well as I could only hope? I fought all my life to reach this point and now I can almost see everything come crashing down before my very eyes.

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