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Sarah,this blog is for you I hope you get to read it before it is too late.I had no idea what you were going through, how could I?I think that Jordan probably did not even realize what he was saying or how it would effect you.I just hope you will be alright,I worry for you even though we have never meet.I wish there is something I could do to help you.Please Sarah,do not do anything that is regretable.I want you to be alright,you have become a part of my life, I do not even want to think of my reaction if something were to happen to you.If you do not care about my opinion,just think of God's.How do you think it makes God feel knowing how you are,get better for God,Sarah.Forget what Jordan said,do not let it get to you.You can be an inspiration without him if it comes down to it.I will check in on you tomorrow so please think about what I had to say.
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Showing posts with label worries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worries. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Alone Again...
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Here I am, alone again...I am not sure what to do.Julie if you are out there and you read this I am now allowing anonymous comments, please post a comment I need to know that someone is out there.I do not know what to say.I realize that the entire Internet community could be reading my blog but I feel strange posting how I truly feel right now because Sarah is reading.What is wrong with me?Can someone tell me exactly what is wrong with me?!?
In case anyone noticed I have not mentioned Jill, it is because I have ceased all contact with her for now.I feel guilty and free at the same time and I just do not understand it.These feelings do not happen too often with me, I guess this time I am just tired of falling victim to Jill one too many times, no more.Until I straighten things out and she does aswell, that is just the way it is going to be,a life without Jill around.
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Here I am, alone again...I am not sure what to do.Julie if you are out there and you read this I am now allowing anonymous comments, please post a comment I need to know that someone is out there.I do not know what to say.I realize that the entire Internet community could be reading my blog but I feel strange posting how I truly feel right now because Sarah is reading.What is wrong with me?Can someone tell me exactly what is wrong with me?!?
In case anyone noticed I have not mentioned Jill, it is because I have ceased all contact with her for now.I feel guilty and free at the same time and I just do not understand it.These feelings do not happen too often with me, I guess this time I am just tired of falling victim to Jill one too many times, no more.Until I straighten things out and she does aswell, that is just the way it is going to be,a life without Jill around.
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007
HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!!
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Sarah and Jose, thanks for being there for me at my time of need. I do not know what I am going to do about this whole situation. I have no one to turn to, I am so alone, I have friends but I do not want to bother or get them involved with this particular part of my life. Alone and without anyone I truly trust for advice I had no choice but to turn to my parents for help. As much as I did not want to, I was forced to tell them what had happened. The odd part for me was that I still wanted to protect Jill, so after telling I felt terrible. Sarah..! Jose..! HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!
I still have to find a lawyer for myself, my parents want me to use theirs but I do not think I would be comfortable with him since he knows me and Jill personally, since I was about 5 or 6. I do not want to influence any more negativity towards Jill.
I just still can not understand how could Jill do this to me after all that I have done for her. By the way, remember how her car is not drivable so I thought that I would have to drive her around? Not going to happen after all, as part of the terms of my bail, I am not allowed to drive, my licence was suspended at least until my court date. Get this crazy shit, Jill actually had the audacity to ask if I wanted her to drive me around in my car until I straightened everything out! She is seriously disturbed, not only did I reject her offer, I told she had to find her own around, I would rather take the bus right now than have her around me and as I said previously, I do not want to explain anything to my friends so asking them is out of the question.
What should I do? My life was going great up until now, at least decent. I am worried that this could effect me for the rest of my life, what if everything does not turn out to be as well as I could only hope? I fought all my life to reach this point and now I can almost see everything come crashing down before my very eyes.
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Sarah and Jose, thanks for being there for me at my time of need. I do not know what I am going to do about this whole situation. I have no one to turn to, I am so alone, I have friends but I do not want to bother or get them involved with this particular part of my life. Alone and without anyone I truly trust for advice I had no choice but to turn to my parents for help. As much as I did not want to, I was forced to tell them what had happened. The odd part for me was that I still wanted to protect Jill, so after telling I felt terrible. Sarah..! Jose..! HELLLLLLLLLLP!!!
I still have to find a lawyer for myself, my parents want me to use theirs but I do not think I would be comfortable with him since he knows me and Jill personally, since I was about 5 or 6. I do not want to influence any more negativity towards Jill.
I just still can not understand how could Jill do this to me after all that I have done for her. By the way, remember how her car is not drivable so I thought that I would have to drive her around? Not going to happen after all, as part of the terms of my bail, I am not allowed to drive, my licence was suspended at least until my court date. Get this crazy shit, Jill actually had the audacity to ask if I wanted her to drive me around in my car until I straightened everything out! She is seriously disturbed, not only did I reject her offer, I told she had to find her own around, I would rather take the bus right now than have her around me and as I said previously, I do not want to explain anything to my friends so asking them is out of the question.
What should I do? My life was going great up until now, at least decent. I am worried that this could effect me for the rest of my life, what if everything does not turn out to be as well as I could only hope? I fought all my life to reach this point and now I can almost see everything come crashing down before my very eyes.
-end blog
Monday, December 3, 2007
WAKE UP CALL!
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Sarah, you being probably my only reader, I purposely waited to post this when I knew that you would read it. Over the weekend I had a terrible wake up call I wish I would not have had. It was Friday night and I decided to be a good brother and agree to spend time with my recently depressed sister. I know that if I had not gone something bad worse could have happened to her. My sister's name is Jill, she 26 years old, being of legal age to drink she often takes advantage of that right, more when she's depressed.
As usual Jill turned to me, here little brother which cares deeply for her despite my objections of her health hazard lifestyle habits. I drove to her house in my car and when I arrived she seemed fine, better than I expected. Surprised with her I agreed to go with her to a club which I never do. She was fine and did not seem depressed at all so I agreed to go with her, Jill drove us in her car.
When we made it into the club we sat at the bar, that's should have been my first clue something was wrong. Soon after I ignored concerns when she ordered a diet coke instead of an alcoholic beverage. That did not last long. We were having a nice time together she even danced with some guy that was also sitting at the bar near us. (he asked her after discovering that I was only her brother and not her boyfriend) As the night continued she ordered a drink, then another, I told her to take it easy, she promised she would but she still continued to order drinks. Drink 5 she was a little buzzed so I told her that we should leave and she agreed but first I excused myself.
When I returned she begged me to stay, and ordered herself another diet coke so I agreed. unknowingly that some possessed my sister to slip something in my drink while I was away.
Let's just say I was fine to drive(or so I thought) and Jill was not so we left after finishing our drinks she agreed to let me drive since I did not drink. As I was driving I got a massive headache and could not concentrate, long story short, I lost control and hit a pole. Jill suffered from whip blash and a broken arm and another surprise I only had neck aches and after being checked out at the hospital I was arrested for being under the influence of drugs. Jill bailed me out Saturday night.
Great! Not only can I can not trust my own sister and I now have this on spotless my record and have to go to court still and to top it all off since Jill's car is now undrivable I have to drive her around from now on in my car until she can get it replaced. After that happens, I am going to go with my gut and not have any contact with Jill for a while.
-end blog
Sarah, you being probably my only reader, I purposely waited to post this when I knew that you would read it. Over the weekend I had a terrible wake up call I wish I would not have had. It was Friday night and I decided to be a good brother and agree to spend time with my recently depressed sister. I know that if I had not gone something bad worse could have happened to her. My sister's name is Jill, she 26 years old, being of legal age to drink she often takes advantage of that right, more when she's depressed.
As usual Jill turned to me, here little brother which cares deeply for her despite my objections of her health hazard lifestyle habits. I drove to her house in my car and when I arrived she seemed fine, better than I expected. Surprised with her I agreed to go with her to a club which I never do. She was fine and did not seem depressed at all so I agreed to go with her, Jill drove us in her car.
When we made it into the club we sat at the bar, that's should have been my first clue something was wrong. Soon after I ignored concerns when she ordered a diet coke instead of an alcoholic beverage. That did not last long. We were having a nice time together she even danced with some guy that was also sitting at the bar near us. (he asked her after discovering that I was only her brother and not her boyfriend) As the night continued she ordered a drink, then another, I told her to take it easy, she promised she would but she still continued to order drinks. Drink 5 she was a little buzzed so I told her that we should leave and she agreed but first I excused myself.
When I returned she begged me to stay, and ordered herself another diet coke so I agreed. unknowingly that some possessed my sister to slip something in my drink while I was away.
Let's just say I was fine to drive(or so I thought) and Jill was not so we left after finishing our drinks she agreed to let me drive since I did not drink. As I was driving I got a massive headache and could not concentrate, long story short, I lost control and hit a pole. Jill suffered from whip blash and a broken arm and another surprise I only had neck aches and after being checked out at the hospital I was arrested for being under the influence of drugs. Jill bailed me out Saturday night.
Great! Not only can I can not trust my own sister and I now have this on spotless my record and have to go to court still and to top it all off since Jill's car is now undrivable I have to drive her around from now on in my car until she can get it replaced. After that happens, I am going to go with my gut and not have any contact with Jill for a while.
-end blog
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